Yes, I take a 2000 movie title for this blog post title. I haven’t seen it yet, though. And have no idea who start this phrase for the first time. Well, It’s not a problem. A good thing will remain good whoever started it, right? However, I don’t know whether this post also a good one or not. Because, honestly, it probably just a piece of grumble.
I usually don’t have any complaint with Japan nor Japanese. It is a great country with mostly good people. The transportation is very good and punctual, all public facilities are very well-organized, and you don’t have to much worry about your safety, even in many cases show that what is yours will be back to you even you left it in a random place. In addition, things related to services are just awesome.
It’s true that sometimes I heard some foreigner friends or acquaintances who live in Japan complained about Japanese workaholic culture and the lip-service things. I haven’t had work here yet and I don’t really bother about what people think as long as it’s in their mind. You got something you don’t like about me, tell me in private directly. Otherwise, It ain’t my business. So, most of the time I live here peacefully.
But today, There was something that made me feel, why most Japanese still clinging with hold-back cultures? They tend to refuse any help or kindness from others. Sometimes it’s good because it means that they don’t want to bother other people. But, in some cases, don’t you think that receiving kindness is also a type of kindness? Some of my Japanese friends said that Japanese don’t want to feel they owe you and made them feel that they got to pay it back. But then, why don’t you just pay it forward? You receive kindness and then pay it forward by giving kindness to others. It would be better than refusing kindness, wouldn’t it?
I know, it’s seems like I’m stereotyping Japanese. And what even worse is, through this stereotype, I gradually tend to not care about others, anymore. Seeing a Japanese grandma walks hard with her trolley? I would just pass her by. Anybody got incidence? Well, police, ambulance, or firefighter would just appear in seconds. I’m starting to think that helping others will only bother them. Yes, I start to think that helping others is none of my business, anymore. I know it’s a self-degradation, but in most of the time I just don’t know what to do.
Or should I just double-standardize about helping and giving? When it comes to Japanese, I’ll just try to ignore, since they stereotypical-ly don’t want to receive any help or giving, but aside of Japanese I’ll just be what I wanna be. Hmm, but I think it’s kinda racist, isn’t it?
Well, complaining is not good. Maybe I need to learn more about reading the atmosphere. And for my beloved Japanese friends, I just wanna say that sometimes receiving kindness is also kindness, or even it will be a help to the one who give that kindness. If you’re afraid you can’t pay it back to that person, just pay it forward to others, there are so many people who need your help and kindness, anyway. Besides, I think refusing any help or kindness, sometimes also a sign of excessive pride. And since the life is created to be balance, something excessive may hurt not only you, but also anyone else.